Catholic-marriage-is different

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“From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive; furthermore, in a Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament.”142

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Marriage is truly an adventure that requires careful packing. After saying “yes,” you leave your childhood home, bid your farewells, say your see-you-laters (definitely not goodbyes), pack your entire life into a handful of suitcases, and embark on a new journey with your beloved. And guess what? Everything changes.

It’s definitely one of life’s most significant transitions. No more waking up or having breakfast alone; now it’s a bundled 2-for-1 deal. Two distinct individuals become one entity.

But let’s talk about coexistence – it’s a path that can lead to either a nightmarish scenario or a beautiful opportunity for growth. Every marriage is its own unique relationship, every relationship has its ups and downs, and every heart loves in its own way.

However, there’s a guiding presence that can ease our path: God. When our marriage is a Sacrament, we exchange rings and receive an unparalleled, priceless gift – His blessing.

Suddenly, you’re not just a couple, but a trinity. When you need more love, courage, strength, or anything else, you’re not alone; you can turn to Him.

Marriage takes on a different hue when God is at its core, and we want to illustrate this with a few examples to help you grasp this beautiful truth of the Catholic faith better.

How Is A Catholic Marriage With God At The Center Different?

They Argue, But They Also Forgive

Holy Scripture affirms that man and woman were created for one another: “It is not good that the man should be alone.” The woman, “flesh of his flesh,” his equal, his nearest in all things, is given to him by God as a “helpmate”; she thus represents God from whom comes our help. “Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.”94 The Lord himself shows that this signifies an unbreakable union of their two lives by recalling what the plan of the Creator had been “in the beginning”: “So they are no longer two, but one flesh.”

#1605 Catechism of the Catholic Church

Living under the same roof makes it difficult run away at the first sign of trouble. No more storming off to separate corners after a spat. No more disappearing acts, ignoring calls, or shutting ourselves away for hours.

Living together forces us to make eye contact, reconnect over dinner, share the kitchen, and join in the children’s bedtime prayers. And when night falls, voilà, we share the same bed. No more separate spaces, just a united territory.

But within a God-centered marriage, we become intimate with the art of “forgiveness.” We realize the necessity of humility, acknowledging that we’re a unit, and whatever affects one impacts both.

In a marriage with God present, reconciling quickly is essential. Apologies come more readily, heads bow humbly, and if all else fails, we can metaphorically scream for help – and He listens.

They Pray, Pause, And Reflect When Tempted To Sin

Nevertheless, the order of creation persists, though seriously disturbed. To heal the wounds of sin, man and woman need the help of the grace that God in his infinite mercy never refuses them.99 Without his help man and woman cannot achieve the union of their lives for which God created them “in the beginning.”

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Now, when I mention “messing up,” it’s not limited to infidelity. It’s about every little thing that could negatively affect the relationship. Let’s be honest, if we’re willingly saying “I do,” there’s no need to seek what we haven’t lost.

Resisting temptation becomes key, and remembering that our actions impact our partner is crucial. Knowledge of our partner’s triggers prompts us to tread carefully.

Telling lies? Not a wise choice. Annoying our spouse? Definitely off the table!

If love is the foundation, then fostering its growth becomes paramount. Let’s enhance our listening skills, encourage open dialogue, and cultivate patience, tenderness, and humility.

They Have An Shield Of Protection For Their Family

It is in the bosom of the family that parents are “by word and example . . . the first heralds of the faith with regard to their children. They should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each child, fostering with special care any religious vocation.”

It is here that the father of the family, the mother, children, and all members of the family exercise the priesthood of the baptized in a privileged way “by the reception of the sacraments, prayer and thanksgiving, the witness of a holy life, and self-denial and active charity.” Thus the home is the first school of Christian life and “a school for human enrichment.” Here one learns endurance and the joy of work, fraternal love, generous – even repeated – forgiveness, and above all divine worship in prayer and the offering of one’s life.

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Should discussions about children happen before marriage? Absolutely! No assumptions allowed – thinking “it’s obvious they want kids” won’t cut it.

“It’s obvious they won’t agree if our children switch genders by the day, or want to be unicorns.” “It’s clear they won’t endorse abortion.” “Of course they’ll object to euthanasia.” “It’s clear they won’t see porn as normal.”

Before marriage, we must delve into our values, and what truly matters. Assuming our partner’s alignment with us is a mistake. Let’s discuss these topics with love, during the dating phase!

If both spouses prioritize God, they will have shared biblical values and possess a solid vision for raising children using the teachings of the Catholic Church. They will wield an exceptional protective shield as they join together in praying for and with their children.

They Work Together Toward A Priceless Gift: Heaven

“By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God.”147 This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace they “help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children.”148

Christ is the source of this grace. “Just as of old God encountered his people with a covenant of love and fidelity, so our Savior, the spouse of the Church, now encounters Christian spouses through the sacrament of Matrimony.”149 Christ dwells with them, gives them the strength to take up their crosses and so follow him, to rise again after they have fallen, to forgive one another, to bear one another’s burdens, to “be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ,”150 and to love one another with supernatural, tender, and fruitful love. In the joys of their love and family life he gives them here on earth a foretaste of the wedding feast of the Lamb:How can I ever express the happiness of a marriage joined by the Church, strengthened by an offering, sealed by a blessing, announced by angels, and ratified by the Father? . . . How wonderful the bond between two believers, now one in hope, one in desire, one in discipline, one in the same service! They are both children of one Father and servants of the same Master, undivided in spirit and flesh, truly two in one flesh. Where the flesh is one, one also is the spirit.151

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Why should my duty as a spouse extend to leading my partner to heaven? Isn’t fulfilling my own responsibilities enough? Well, it turns out that love takes on a new form within marriage – it’s enveloped in a unique grace and aims for something celestial, eternal.

When we get married, God’s presence allows us to see a reflection of Him in our partner. Our soul’s eyes are opened, we’re reminded that it was He who facilitated our meeting, our union, and the gift of bringing new life into the world.

Loving God and the spouse He’s blessed us with fuels a desire for their ultimate good. We commit to loving them wholeheartedly, doing everything in our power to ensure their happiness and eternal salvation.

They Cultivate Gratitude And Selflessness

The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses’ community of persons, which embraces their entire life: “so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” They “are called to grow continually in their communion through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual self-giving.” This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together.

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Now, you might argue that even unmarried couples can embrace gratitude and selflessness, right? Absolutely, with the right intention.

The distinction lies in the focal point. In a marriage centered around God, both husband and wife recognize the abundance of blessings bestowed upon them by our Creator.

Praying together and striving to remain in a state of grace allows us to appreciate even the tiniest blessings. This gratitude extends beyond us – it becomes a call to share, to serve others, all inspired by the presence of God in our union.

The sentiment of gratitude and the urge to give back originate from the heart of this marriage, taking root and blossoming into a beautiful shared journey.

“From a valid marriage arises a bond between the spouses which by its very nature is perpetual and exclusive; furthermore, in a Christian marriage the spouses are strengthened and, as it were, consecrated for the duties and the dignity of their state by a special sacrament.”142

#1638 CATECHISM OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH

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